Yet Another Saturday Night

I find myself yet again falling into the Saturday night ritual. A glass of red, a signing in to MSN to see who is there (no one tonight), and reflection over the week past. I think I might have done that in the last blog, however today has provided more fodder for thought. I had put aside today for a dear friend to help with yet more wedding shopping. Unfortunately I spent the day waiting as she got side-tracked and couldn't make our planned day. I feel a little annoyed, yet at the same time chastise myself for being annoyed. She got busy. These things happen, however I find myself thinking over the things I could have done instead of waiting. With my recent trip away I find plenty to do on the home-front. The garden resembles a bed of weeds, as opposed to the planned bed of flowers. My constant struggle with invading grass and weeds has me forever feeling guilty about the lack of time I spend keeping it in track. I guess there are more important things, however it remains a constant task that I rarely attend to.

I have, whilst playing multiple games of spider solitare, mulled over the things in my life that really need attention (as opposed to my bed of weeds). In general things are pretty good. I have a roof over my head, food in my pantry, and clothes on my back. What more can a person ask for? Well, plenty. Over the last couple of months I have had a real awakening to life. Medical investigations provide evidence that life is short, and one must make the most of every precious minute we have. I look at the "I'm not sure how to categorise" man in my life. I have indicated my desire for something a bit more solid, and yet I am left with a feeling of inadequacy. I think it might be time to let that one go. How does one meet someone who simply wants to have you in their life? If they are not in a space to accommodate that need, then does one let it go? I think so. Appreciation of where they are at in life is all well and good. However, the forever feeling of impending shortness of time brings me to the point of assessment. Do I communicate that realisation, or do I simply let it be, and not reply/answer future communications. I am not sure. However, I do know that they have had ample opportunity to snaffle me up. And, to be blunt, "you snooze you lose" is definitely the current status. I cannot complain. I have my darling children who provide invaluable company. And I would hate to miss out on someone's intentions, simply because I am waiting for someone to sort out their issues. So tonight I say goodbye to the past, look forward to the future, and hope that this little old maid stumbles across a person who truly craves my attention. Did I meet them today ..... maybe. I guess time will tell. Life is a funny old thing, it presents things when we are least expecting. I do know that the Robyn Hood explanation grabs attention, and remains in peoples minds. If only I could remember his name. Names I am not good at ... bugger it. Oh well, I suspect that things happen for a reason, and today's reason looked rather nice.